Hold Your Horses

I feel as I get older life passes by SOO quickly. I used to pray for Friday to come quicker, count down til Santa or the Easter bunny came, ect.Now, I'm thinking dang its already Thursday? (sometimes it is a good thing!) Life seems so much more hectic though. Somedays I wish I were the little impatient, curly blonde headed girl that had no responsibilities other than homework and some sort of practice. Actually, I'd rather go back to the days where I just had practice and no homework! ;) Every time I go to Pinebrook to pick up Lagan I get so nostalgic. I've been a worrywart lately. Actually, I always am but now more than ever. Over everything. I seriously don't know why I worry myself to death. Some things I shouldn't worry over but I do. I just want to make everyone happy and have everything go smoothly.

Sometimes I think I go all sensitive sally and I really shouldn't be. I just don't like it when people are upset or something goes wrong. I also don't like when people lie to me, act better than me or treat me like I'm nothing. I've experienced all of those lately. I'm not going into detail but its so bothersome. I feel like sometimes I can't trust anyone. Friends are supposed to be there for you even when your back is turned. I've always been the one that when you lose my trust you don't get it back. If you do you're extremely lucky but I will never fully trust you again. Some think that's wrong of me but it protects me in the end. People are so cruel and cunning.

My immune system hates me. I know I have an autoimmune disease  but I really think my immune system hates me. I went to the hospital the other night and they kept me til about 6am. I'm feeling a little better but still have pain and nauseated. Bk and I were getting out of the car and  walking and we realized we were both moaning. She said, "Were getting so old! Listen to us!" haha. It's true though. I love that I have friends that have been around since we were younger. It's funny to see how life has turned out for us. We were talking about when we were younger the other day.

I keep thinking of the younger years. I can't help it. Life was so simple. Too bad I used to dream about having my license, going on dates, having a job, living on my own,  getting married, ext. And now I dream about being small again. Funny how that works out..

I need a vacation.

Speaking of vacation..My brother is leaving in 2-4 weeks for Djibouti. As I like to call it, Jabooty. HaHa. I am really upset. I don't want him to go. That's forever away!! I don't think I really believe he is leaving so soon. We're supposed to have a family vacation in a few weeks and he might have to miss it. He isn't sure yet. I really hope he can though. I think it will be nice to have some family bonding before he leaves. I know we've had our differences in the past few years but I love him no matter what. He's one of my heroes. While I was at the hospital the other night he came with me! He sat with me for a few hours making me laugh. I was in pain and the laugh made it hurt worse but it was worth it. I'm getting choked up thinking about him moving. I know people do it everyday..but I'm so nervous! If something were to happen, he's so far away...I just need to think happy thoughts!