Between a rock and a hard place. . .

So many things have happened in the past week or two its ridiculous. I didn't plan on blogging about this but I feel like I can get a lot off my chest if I write a little bit. I need to do that and pray. I decided I need to move back home to save money. I'm starting summer school and I HAVE to do good. I'm going to be taking chemistry, microbio, math & english..or something like that.  Thats a big load for a summer sesh. I am so sad I have to move back. I've had fun with Becky. I enjoy her company. Also, I love my family and though i've missed, it's gonna be hard to go back to living with my parents. I hate that it has only been 2 months. I've lived on my own for TWO months. but i've learned so much in those two months. It just stinks that it couldn't be longer. Luckily, I had just told Becky that I'm moving out because now my job is kind of on the line. With school being my first priority I don't know how much I will be able to work.

 I've been a nanny for almost a year now. I've grown to love these children like my own. I am so attached to them!!! And their mom. I feel like I'm part of the family. L & D are my favorite kids in the whole world. I would give them my kidneys if needed be. Lagan is such a beautiful, intelligent little girl. She has the biggest heart for a 5 year old. When I pick her up from school she hops in the car and greets me with a HUGE hug! Will and I have this thing when we hold hands we squeeze 3 times for an  "I Love You". Its something we have always done. I introduced Lay to that recently and she LOVES to do it. I think it's like a special secret code for her! It's so cute! Dallas...oh my little D man. He has gotten SO big from when I started watching him. He's growing into a little man and its bittersweet. He's starting to speak more clearly and wanting to do stuff by "meself". When I left today he said "me gone miss you!" That boy can make any day better. They both can. I can't wait to see what these two are going to accomplish in the future.

they'll always have my heart

I knew this job would come to an end one day. Obviously. It's not like having a puppy that you take care of  for forever. These are kids who will one day grow up and not need a nanny. I just hate that it might be so soon. I want whats best for them though. Also, B has been so good to me. She's been the best fross (friend/boss) ever. (We call each other fross & franny)I know that even if I do have to get a different job, whether it be now or later, that I will always make sure to be apart of their lives. Will too. Will has become SO attached to these kids its ridiculous. I think sometimes he comes over to be with them rather than me! I can't complain though. He is SO good with them. It's also nice when he comes over and plays with them til they are worn out! :) Hey, Ms. Annie needs a break sometimes!


So, right now all I can do is pray for God's guidance to lead me in the right direction. I may not understand his plans but I need to just let him guide me. I think sometimes I have that problem. I want to solve everything and figure it out asap. I need to take one day at a time. I need to live in the present and have gratitude that this is my biggest worry. It could be worse!

As far as my RA, I've had pretty good days! I have had some bad days but what I call "bad" days are GREAT compared to what my bad days were a few months ago. I started some new medicine and I'm hoping it will help! Today, Katie and I discussed my sleeping patterns. I tend to sleep ALOT. Like, a lot a lot. I have a vitamin D deficiency and anemia. I want to buy some supplements and maybe bring my levels up again. Katie's wonderful mother talked to me about this. The low for Vit.D deficit. is 32..mine was 20 something...Hopefully, if I can bring up those levels I won't sleep all the time and be a little more energized. I can't completely blame it on that though..i really love my sleep! haha

More to come later...