Winner Winner Chicken Dinner!

"She loved life and it loved her right back"

Man, last weekend was amazing. It was very much needed. I got a very unexpected call from school saying I got into the nursing program. It was the most amazing feeling in the world. Knowing one of my dreams is just so close and about to come true is just astonishing. I cannot wait. I feel like I've been in a rut for awhile and here I am now 2 days (almost 3) later with such a new outlook. The man upstairs has been looking out for me so much the past few days. I think he "knew" I needed this. (of course he did! haha) But you catch my drift! Anyways, I start in August. It's going to be tough but I've known this. I just have to keep my chin up and study like crazy! 

I also got to spend time with my sweet, sweet William. We've barely seen each other recently and it just plain stinks. (Forewarning: about to get mushy.) I love him so much it's unreal. He is my very best friend and I can't wait to start our life together. No, it won't be real soon. but soon enough ;)  

Since I had the kids all weekend we went to Zach's since Katie also had her kids all weekend. It was SO fun. I hope we do it again soon. Katie and I said thats how it's gonna be when we have our own kids. I imagine it will be too! 

Tomorrow I'm headed to the beach with Jared! Yay for spending time with him!  My momma is already there and Jason& Linds are coming on Wednesday. Hopefully my daddy can get out of work and come this Friday!.... Jason is moving to Africa really really soon. I'm so nervous about it. :( I just have to keep the faith..

I love my friends & family and I have so many blessings its ridiculous! God is Good.

Hold Your Horses

I feel as I get older life passes by SOO quickly. I used to pray for Friday to come quicker, count down til Santa or the Easter bunny came, ect.Now, I'm thinking dang its already Thursday? (sometimes it is a good thing!) Life seems so much more hectic though. Somedays I wish I were the little impatient, curly blonde headed girl that had no responsibilities other than homework and some sort of practice. Actually, I'd rather go back to the days where I just had practice and no homework! ;) Every time I go to Pinebrook to pick up Lagan I get so nostalgic. I've been a worrywart lately. Actually, I always am but now more than ever. Over everything. I seriously don't know why I worry myself to death. Some things I shouldn't worry over but I do. I just want to make everyone happy and have everything go smoothly.

Sometimes I think I go all sensitive sally and I really shouldn't be. I just don't like it when people are upset or something goes wrong. I also don't like when people lie to me, act better than me or treat me like I'm nothing. I've experienced all of those lately. I'm not going into detail but its so bothersome. I feel like sometimes I can't trust anyone. Friends are supposed to be there for you even when your back is turned. I've always been the one that when you lose my trust you don't get it back. If you do you're extremely lucky but I will never fully trust you again. Some think that's wrong of me but it protects me in the end. People are so cruel and cunning.

My immune system hates me. I know I have an autoimmune disease  but I really think my immune system hates me. I went to the hospital the other night and they kept me til about 6am. I'm feeling a little better but still have pain and nauseated. Bk and I were getting out of the car and  walking and we realized we were both moaning. She said, "Were getting so old! Listen to us!" haha. It's true though. I love that I have friends that have been around since we were younger. It's funny to see how life has turned out for us. We were talking about when we were younger the other day.

I keep thinking of the younger years. I can't help it. Life was so simple. Too bad I used to dream about having my license, going on dates, having a job, living on my own,  getting married, ext. And now I dream about being small again. Funny how that works out..

I need a vacation.

Speaking of vacation..My brother is leaving in 2-4 weeks for Djibouti. As I like to call it, Jabooty. HaHa. I am really upset. I don't want him to go. That's forever away!! I don't think I really believe he is leaving so soon. We're supposed to have a family vacation in a few weeks and he might have to miss it. He isn't sure yet. I really hope he can though. I think it will be nice to have some family bonding before he leaves. I know we've had our differences in the past few years but I love him no matter what. He's one of my heroes. While I was at the hospital the other night he came with me! He sat with me for a few hours making me laugh. I was in pain and the laugh made it hurt worse but it was worth it. I'm getting choked up thinking about him moving. I know people do it everyday..but I'm so nervous! If something were to happen, he's so far away...I just need to think happy thoughts!

Between a rock and a hard place. . .

So many things have happened in the past week or two its ridiculous. I didn't plan on blogging about this but I feel like I can get a lot off my chest if I write a little bit. I need to do that and pray. I decided I need to move back home to save money. I'm starting summer school and I HAVE to do good. I'm going to be taking chemistry, microbio, math & english..or something like that.  Thats a big load for a summer sesh. I am so sad I have to move back. I've had fun with Becky. I enjoy her company. Also, I love my family and though i've missed, it's gonna be hard to go back to living with my parents. I hate that it has only been 2 months. I've lived on my own for TWO months. but i've learned so much in those two months. It just stinks that it couldn't be longer. Luckily, I had just told Becky that I'm moving out because now my job is kind of on the line. With school being my first priority I don't know how much I will be able to work.

 I've been a nanny for almost a year now. I've grown to love these children like my own. I am so attached to them!!! And their mom. I feel like I'm part of the family. L & D are my favorite kids in the whole world. I would give them my kidneys if needed be. Lagan is such a beautiful, intelligent little girl. She has the biggest heart for a 5 year old. When I pick her up from school she hops in the car and greets me with a HUGE hug! Will and I have this thing when we hold hands we squeeze 3 times for an  "I Love You". Its something we have always done. I introduced Lay to that recently and she LOVES to do it. I think it's like a special secret code for her! It's so cute! Dallas...oh my little D man. He has gotten SO big from when I started watching him. He's growing into a little man and its bittersweet. He's starting to speak more clearly and wanting to do stuff by "meself". When I left today he said "me gone miss you!" That boy can make any day better. They both can. I can't wait to see what these two are going to accomplish in the future.

they'll always have my heart

I knew this job would come to an end one day. Obviously. It's not like having a puppy that you take care of  for forever. These are kids who will one day grow up and not need a nanny. I just hate that it might be so soon. I want whats best for them though. Also, B has been so good to me. She's been the best fross (friend/boss) ever. (We call each other fross & franny)I know that even if I do have to get a different job, whether it be now or later, that I will always make sure to be apart of their lives. Will too. Will has become SO attached to these kids its ridiculous. I think sometimes he comes over to be with them rather than me! I can't complain though. He is SO good with them. It's also nice when he comes over and plays with them til they are worn out! :) Hey, Ms. Annie needs a break sometimes!


So, right now all I can do is pray for God's guidance to lead me in the right direction. I may not understand his plans but I need to just let him guide me. I think sometimes I have that problem. I want to solve everything and figure it out asap. I need to take one day at a time. I need to live in the present and have gratitude that this is my biggest worry. It could be worse!

As far as my RA, I've had pretty good days! I have had some bad days but what I call "bad" days are GREAT compared to what my bad days were a few months ago. I started some new medicine and I'm hoping it will help! Today, Katie and I discussed my sleeping patterns. I tend to sleep ALOT. Like, a lot a lot. I have a vitamin D deficiency and anemia. I want to buy some supplements and maybe bring my levels up again. Katie's wonderful mother talked to me about this. The low for Vit.D deficit. is 32..mine was 20 something...Hopefully, if I can bring up those levels I won't sleep all the time and be a little more energized. I can't completely blame it on that though..i really love my sleep! haha

More to come later...

YaY!

Yay! I now have a blog!! I have been reading a few inspiring blogs lately and I just feel that its very therapeutic to write out my feelings. I am not an English teacher so I won't always have fancy vocabulary/grammar. I also don't have kids and am not married. So, if you choose to read this, cut me some slack because I might not have the most interesting stories! :) 


This year has basically just started but I have had so much happen in these past few months! 


One, I moved out of my parents house. In 2008, all (most) of my high school friends moved away to college. I chose to stay here. Growing up, I cursed Davie County. I planned on going to LR for Nursing until my spring semester of my senior year. I just couldn't imagine leaving yet. I chose to stay home and go to a community college. I will never regret that decision. Of course, sometimes I wonder what it would be like but I am happy here. I have Will, my family and my close friends. On to NOWADAYS ...Two months ago, I moved out of my parents house into a condo owned by my friend Becky. It's SO weird living on your own! I LOVE IT. I'm not far away from my parents! YAY. I always called Will a homebody but I think its just the fact that home is where your heart is.  After moving my stuff into the condo, I still went home. I was scared. (I know, im 20 years old!) Of course, my daddy said even though he was so tired from moving that day that he would move it all back if that's what I really wanted. Momma (oh my lovely momma!) encouraged me that I need to try it out. 


Here I am two months later..happy as can be with my choice! I love living on my own. And Becky, she's so sweet! We don't get to see each other much though. We mostly see each other at night and watch a few shows together. Sometimes I feel like I talk her ear off though ;) But we have had a great time so far.


I also was diagnosed with RA (Rheumatoid Arthritis).  Growing up, I've always gotten really stiff/sore when it rained but this past January it got worse. There were days where I couldn't even put my legs together. I was walking like a granny. I couldn't put my seat belt on, ect ect. I went to the doctor and they were doing so many tests and saying so many different things. It was scary. My mom has always had arthritis but last year they diagnosed it as RA. LAST YEAR! I am only 20 and I have it. It just blows my mind. It's not fair. ha but I continue to tell myself that life isn't fair and I could be worse off. I know my friends and Will are/were probably sick of hearing about this stupid disease and the medicines. I wouldn't know what to do without them though. They have been so supportive!


Speaking of Will, after almost 4 years (in july) I can't get enough of him. He has been there through the best and the worst of times. After high school, my life changed so much. Except for Wills love. That's another story for another day though.

For his birthday we went to Gatlinburg. Alone. Just us 2. It was amazing. We have never had just "Us time" for more than a few consecutive hours. We stayed from Thursday- Sunday. I did NOT want to come home. He just keeps reminding me "It won't be much longer.."

 

Will took this in Cades Cove

My flowers from Wilbur <3